Understanding Polyvagal Theory: A Gentle Guide to How Your Nervous System Responds
Have you ever noticed how your body reacts before your mind even catches up? Maybe your heart races when someone raises their voice, or you suddenly feel exhausted and shut down when life feels overwhelming. These experiences aren’t random—they’re part of how your nervous system is wired to keep you safe.
One helpful way to understand these reactions is through something called Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges. Don’t worry—it sounds more complicated than it is. Let’s break it down together.
Your Nervous System as a Safety Scanner
Think of your nervous system like a built-in “safety scanner.” Every moment, it’s scanning your environment and asking:
Am I safe?
Am I in danger?
Am I overwhelmed beyond what I can handle?
Depending on what it senses, your body shifts into different states.
The Three Main States of Polyvagal Theory
The Ventral Vagal State (Safety & Connection)
This is when you feel calm, open, and connected with others.
Your body feels relaxed, your heart and breath are steady, and you can think clearly.
Example: Sharing a laugh with a friend or feeling at peace on a quiet walk.
The Sympathetic State (Fight or Flight)
This is your body’s way of protecting you when it senses danger.
You may feel anxious, restless, tense, or irritable.
Example: Your heart pounds before a big presentation, or you get snappy during a stressful day.
The Dorsal Vagal State (Shutdown & Numbness)
When things feel too overwhelming, your system might shut down to conserve energy.
You may feel exhausted, disconnected, numb, or “spaced out.”
Example: Wanting to crawl into bed and hide from the world when life feels too much.
Why This Matters for Mental Health
When you understand these states, you can recognize what’s happening in your body instead of judging yourself. Instead of saying “Why am I so anxious?” or “Why can’t I just get it together?” you can say:
👉 “My nervous system is trying to protect me.”
That shift in perspective can bring compassion and open the door to change.
Ways to Support Your Nervous System
Here are a few gentle practices that can help you move toward the ventral vagal state (connection and calm):
Deep, slow breathing – signals to your body that you’re safe.
Grounding exercises – notice your feet on the floor, or name 5 things you can see around you.
Safe connection – spending time with someone who makes you feel understood.
Movement – walking, stretching, or dancing helps reset your system.
Nature time – being outdoors can restore a sense of calm and safety.
A Final Note
Polyvagal Theory reminds us that our nervous systems aren’t broken—they’re beautifully designed to protect us. By learning to recognize your body’s signals, you can start to work with your nervous system rather than against it. Healing begins with understanding, and from there, new possibilities open up.
Core Values vs. Beliefs: What’s the Difference and Why It Matters
We often hear people talk about their core values and beliefs as if they’re interchangeable — but they’re not. While both shape how we live, make decisions, and interact with the world, they serve different functions in our personal and collective identities.
Let’s break down the difference between values and beliefs — and why understanding both is essential for personal growth, leadership, and building meaningful relationships.
What Are Beliefs?
Beliefs are the ideas or assumptions we hold to be true.
They’re shaped by our life experiences, upbringing, education, culture, and even media exposure. Beliefs help us interpret the world around us. Some beliefs are rooted in facts, while others may be based on personal perceptions or emotions.
Examples of beliefs:
"Hard work leads to success."
"People are generally good."
"Climate change is real."
"I’m not good at public speaking."
Beliefs can be conscious or unconscious, rational or irrational, and they can change over time. You might believe something as a child, challenge it in adulthood, and then adopt a new perspective based on new information or experiences.
What Are Core Values?
Core values are the fundamental principles or standards that guide your behavior and decision-making.
They reflect what’s most important to you in life — your internal compass for how you want to live and interact with others. Unlike beliefs, which can change fairly easily, core values tend to be more stable and deeply ingrained.
Examples of core values:
Integrity
Compassion
Freedom
Honesty
Growth
Community
Values drive how you live and make choices. If “authenticity” is a core value, you might avoid situations where you feel pressure to be someone you’re not. If “family” is a core value, it might influence where you live or how you spend your time.
Key Differences at a Glance
Core Values Beliefs
Definition: Guiding principles for how we live Ideas or assumptions we accept as true
Origin: Internalized over time, often rooted in emotions and identity Shaped by experience, culture, and learning
Flexibility: Usually stable Can change based on new evidence or insight
Function: Directs behavior and priorities Helps interpret information and make sense of the world
Examples: Respect, honesty, compassion "I can’t trust people," "Success requires sacrifice"
How They Work Together
Values and beliefs often influence each other. For instance, if you value equality, you’re more likely to believe that all people deserve equal rights and opportunities. But if your belief changes — say, after learning more about systemic injustice — you may strengthen or reassess the value you place on fairness or advocacy.
Understanding both helps you:
Make aligned decisions
Resolve internal conflicts
Communicate more clearly with others
Recognize when you're out of alignment with your true self
Why This Matters
Knowing the difference between your values and beliefs can help you:
Make better life choices. Are you living by what truly matters to you, or following beliefs that no longer serve you?
Improve your relationships. It’s easier to navigate conflict when you can identify whether it’s a value clash or a belief difference.
Grow with intention. When you question beliefs that no longer feel true, you create space for deeper alignment with your core values.
Final Thoughts
While beliefs are about what we think is true, core values are about what we hold dear. Beliefs can be questioned and changed. Core values, on the other hand, form the bedrock of who we are and what we stand for.
By taking the time to reflect on both, you gain clarity — and clarity is power.
Mindfulness vs. Meditation: What’s the Difference—and Why It Matters
In recent years, terms like mindfulness and meditation have become part of everyday conversations—from wellness retreats and therapy offices to corporate meetings and classroom settings. They’re often used interchangeably, but while mindfulness and meditation are closely related, they’re not the same thing.
Understanding the difference between the two can help you use them more intentionally and experience their full benefits.
What Is Mindfulness?
Mindfulness is the practice of paying full attention to the present moment with openness, curiosity, and without judgment. It means being aware of your thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations, and surroundings as they are, not as you wish they were.
You can be mindful:
While washing dishes
During a conversation
Walking in nature
Brushing your teeth
Mindfulness doesn’t require you to sit still or set aside a special time in your day—it’s more of a mindset or quality of attention that you can bring into any activity.
Benefits of Mindfulness:
Reduces stress and anxiety
Increases emotional regulation
Enhances focus and memory
Helps break automatic habits and reactivity
What Is Meditation?
Meditation is a formal practice that usually involves setting aside time to focus your attention and quiet the mind. There are many types of meditation, but common forms include:
Mindfulness meditation (yes, this is a type of meditation!)
Loving-kindness meditation
Mantra meditation
Body scan meditation
Breath-focused meditation
Unlike mindfulness, which can be practiced throughout your day, meditation usually happens in a specific setting—often sitting quietly with eyes closed for a period of time.
Benefits of Meditation:
Deepens self-awareness
Improves concentration and mental clarity
Can lead to greater emotional balance
May support sleep and cardiovascular health
So, What’s the Difference?
Think of it like this:
Mindfulness is a quality of awareness.
Meditation is a practice or technique that cultivates that awareness.
You can practice mindfulness within meditation (especially in mindfulness meditation), but you can also practice mindfulness without meditating. Meditation is often the training ground, and mindfulness is what you carry with you into daily life.
How to Use Both in Your Life
You don’t have to choose one over the other. In fact, combining both can be especially powerful:
Start your day with a 10-minute meditation to center your mind.
Bring mindfulness into daily activities—eating, walking, working, even scrolling.
Use short meditative pauses throughout the day to reconnect with your breath or body.
Final Thoughts
Mindfulness and meditation are like two sides of the same coin—different, but deeply connected. One helps you stay rooted in the present; the other helps you build the muscle of attention and awareness. Whether you're just starting out or deepening your existing practice, understanding the distinction can help you navigate your path with more clarity and purpose.
The Body Follows the Mind: Exploring the Body-Mind Connection in Therapy
At the heart of our work in therapy is a simple but powerful truth: the body follows the mind.
This means that our thoughts, emotions, and inner narratives don’t just stay in our heads—they are felt throughout our entire body. Whether you're experiencing anxiety, trauma, burnout, or even grief, you may notice how mental stress can manifest physically: tense shoulders, headaches, fatigue, or digestive issues. This is not a coincidence. It’s the body’s way of reflecting what the mind is carrying.
What Is the Body-Mind Connection?
The body-mind connection refers to the constant and dynamic relationship between our thoughts, emotions, and physical state. Modern neuroscience confirms what many healing traditions have known for centuries: mental and emotional experiences can directly impact physical health—and vice versa.
You might notice:
Racing thoughts leading to shallow breathing or a rapid heartbeat.
Chronic stress showing up as tight muscles or frequent illness.
Negative self-talk fueling feelings of exhaustion or heaviness in the body.
These are examples of the body following the mind—mirroring our internal experiences, often without us realizing it.
How Therapy Can Help
In therapy, we bring compassionate awareness to this connection. Rather than viewing the body and mind as separate, we work with both together. Here’s how:
Mindfulness and Somatic Awareness: Learning to notice body sensations as they arise in response to thoughts or emotions helps us reconnect with our inner experience.
Regulation Techniques: Grounding, breathwork, and gentle movement help calm the nervous system and restore a sense of balance.
Cognitive Work: Shifting harmful patterns of thinking can ease emotional distress and reduce physical symptoms tied to stress or trauma.
Compassionate Self-Inquiry: Exploring the stories we tell ourselves—and how those stories live in the body—allows space for healing and change.
Why It Matters
When we understand that the body follows the mind, we begin to see symptoms not as isolated problems to "fix," but as messages calling for attention and care. Healing becomes less about fighting discomfort and more about listening—with curiosity and compassion.
You don’t have to “think” your way out of anxiety or “willpower” your way through pain. In our work together, we’ll gently explore how your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations are interconnected, and how healing in one area can ripple into others.
Interested in exploring this more?
Let’s work together to reconnect your body and mind in a way that feels safe, grounded, and empowering. Contact me here to schedule a session or learn more.