Understanding Polyvagal Theory: A Gentle Guide to How Your Nervous System Responds
Have you ever noticed how your body reacts before your mind even catches up? Maybe your heart races when someone raises their voice, or you suddenly feel exhausted and shut down when life feels overwhelming. These experiences aren’t random—they’re part of how your nervous system is wired to keep you safe.
One helpful way to understand these reactions is through something called Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges. Don’t worry—it sounds more complicated than it is. Let’s break it down together.
Your Nervous System as a Safety Scanner
Think of your nervous system like a built-in “safety scanner.” Every moment, it’s scanning your environment and asking:
Am I safe?
Am I in danger?
Am I overwhelmed beyond what I can handle?
Depending on what it senses, your body shifts into different states.
The Three Main States of Polyvagal Theory
The Ventral Vagal State (Safety & Connection)
This is when you feel calm, open, and connected with others.
Your body feels relaxed, your heart and breath are steady, and you can think clearly.
Example: Sharing a laugh with a friend or feeling at peace on a quiet walk.
The Sympathetic State (Fight or Flight)
This is your body’s way of protecting you when it senses danger.
You may feel anxious, restless, tense, or irritable.
Example: Your heart pounds before a big presentation, or you get snappy during a stressful day.
The Dorsal Vagal State (Shutdown & Numbness)
When things feel too overwhelming, your system might shut down to conserve energy.
You may feel exhausted, disconnected, numb, or “spaced out.”
Example: Wanting to crawl into bed and hide from the world when life feels too much.
Why This Matters for Mental Health
When you understand these states, you can recognize what’s happening in your body instead of judging yourself. Instead of saying “Why am I so anxious?” or “Why can’t I just get it together?” you can say:
👉 “My nervous system is trying to protect me.”
That shift in perspective can bring compassion and open the door to change.
Ways to Support Your Nervous System
Here are a few gentle practices that can help you move toward the ventral vagal state (connection and calm):
Deep, slow breathing – signals to your body that you’re safe.
Grounding exercises – notice your feet on the floor, or name 5 things you can see around you.
Safe connection – spending time with someone who makes you feel understood.
Movement – walking, stretching, or dancing helps reset your system.
Nature time – being outdoors can restore a sense of calm and safety.
A Final Note
Polyvagal Theory reminds us that our nervous systems aren’t broken—they’re beautifully designed to protect us. By learning to recognize your body’s signals, you can start to work with your nervous system rather than against it. Healing begins with understanding, and from there, new possibilities open up.